Top 5 Self Sabotage Personalities - Understanding Self Sabotage with Compassion and Patience
May 16, 2023
There are 5 major self sabotage based personalities. I've personally coached nearly 600 one on one clients, helping them all understand their own self sabotage with compassion and patience. After about the first 100 clients....the patterns started to become very clear to me. After conducting that many one-on-one coaching session, I can safely say that the 5 self-sabotage personality types listed below represents approximately 90% of people...who are caught in some cycle of self-abusive and self destructive behavior.
The most important thing to know about self-sabotage is that these are simply behavior programs. Programs can be changed at any time and there's a particular part of the brain that carries all these programs. That part of the brain, which carries all of our self-sabotaging behaviors, is called the "subconscious". The subconscious is like a separate computer system in our minds, and it has its own code or way of communicating with the outside world. If you know its "coding language", you can easily remove any negative programming and simply insert something better, which makes life much easier to manage. Compassion, patience and understanding are most important while addressing why we self-sabotage. It's not us. It was never our fault. We're simply working as designed. The subconscious is only doing what it's supposed to do. That's how it's designed. It's all about getting that perfect design working for us, as opposed to against us. That's the focus.
Do you see any of your behaviors in the short list below? Don't judge yourself, just start the process of having patience and compassion for your old programs. That's where your healing will always begin.
1. The Fire Starter Saboteur - always causes trouble everywhere they go. They need drama, fighting and conflict in order to feel safe because drama, fighting and conflict has become their normal. (movie influences....Bad Mom's and Dirty Grandpa type media/movie influences etc)
2. The Child Mind Saboteur - can only think short term about their decisions and behaviors because they've never made their proper rite of passage from child to adult. This saboteur is always in a perpetual state of crisis because applying child-based thinking to an adult existence, always ends in non-stop perpetual disasters. (movie influences....any Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell or Melissa McCarthy film)
3. The Financial Saboteur - this saboteur wants money but also hates it. They sometimes do get money but they destroy that money as fast as it comes in. They often see money as dirty, bad or the root of all evil. Outsiders can hear this programming in the way the financial saboteur speaks about money, but the saboteur can't see it themselves. They see poverty and struggle as noble, the high moral ground and more spiritual. They always end up requiring money from others regardless, because of their programmed fear of wealth. They often become financial burdens on the people around them. (movie influences...Titanic, The Equalizer, The Marksman etc. The most common theme in movies today is that the poor person/who has no money....is the hero and the most moral of the group)
4. The Victim Saboteur - their life's a mess but it's everyone else's fault. They introduce themselves by name in the first sentence, then they tell you about all their problems in the next sentence and then they take the next 30 minutes recounting who's to blame for all their problems. If everyone else would just change, their lives would magically come together. (movie influences...Leaving Las Vegas, A Star is Born and other movies where the main character destroys themselves and refuses to stop etc)
5. The Failure To Thrive Saboteur - this saboteur takes self-destruction and self-attack to an Olympic Sport level. This saboteur is allergic to self-care and addicted to self destruction. Frankly, you're surprised that they're still alive when you meet them. Medications, booze, smoking, vaping, endless days on the couch, junk food, no exercise (and sometimes even excessive and dangerous over exercise regimes), in and out of the cut, poison and burn medical system on a regular basis etc etc. There's really no ritual of self-hate or self attack that they're not engaged in on a daily or weekly basis. (movie influences.. Animal House, The Hang Over and any movie where disrespect of the human body gets psychologically rewarded in some way, shape or form etc)
Each saboteur listed above comes about because of the pressure that our society pushes on us to be average instead of great, to be compliant instead of brave and to fit in instead of standing out. If you're looking to break out of these irrational and illogical forms of behavior.......you are free to explore a program I offer that will help you vector up in your own life. If you're looking for big changes in a very short amount of time, I personally invite you to learn more.
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