How My Own Self Sabotage Affects My Romantic and Personal Relationships

Although I'm an overcoming self-sabotage coach, it doesn't mean I'm free from self-sabotage. Becoming a self-sabotage coach means having the tools to look at every reaction and behavior in your life, while trying to understand where those reactions or behaviors come from.

Every single day I look at all my own behaviors and first judge them as beneficial or detrimental to my future prosperity, health and wellbeing. This is done without bias or judgement of course. When it comes to making my life better, it's about progress and not about perfection. This is how I coach my clients, my students and myself. It's the same process, regardless of who is looking to walk this path to better life results. Life is long and we live through all those years anyway, so it's wise to have such tools in our toolkit, to make sure our life gets better as we age.

As for my personal relationships and romantic relationships, I have a deep issue with trust. I don't trust people and I've found myself declaring this openly, in many conversations with many people over my lifetime. That's the first step in an attempt to tackle any issue that will make life harder in the future. First you must admit exactly where you stand, even if it sounds much different than what appears to be "the norm". Other people don't seem to have these deep issues with trust that I have, yet there it is nonetheless. If my behavior programming is amazing, I look right at it. If my behavior programming is ugly, I also look right at it. Honesty starts with self and that's usually the hardest place to be honest. 

I've placed my chronic, "lack of trust" out on the table in front of me and asked every question under the sun about it....all without painting myself as defective, broken or unable to move ahead into a better existence. Often the simplest answers are the correct answers. Sometimes the answers we find (regarding our own beliefs and behavior) are hard to bare for the soul. Regardless, the truth is the goal of all self-sabotage coaching......not extending the societal illusions that are damaging our long-term happiness.

To this day I've concluded that my lack of trust is well deserved and that I'm merely working as designed. To not trust, given what I've been through, is to be expected. My childhood was full of terror, trauma and fear.....plus lots of good times in-between. Saying that, the bad "big impact negative emotions" really get stuck in our nervous systems. Inside my coaching program, we always educate on how our nervous systems and brains work, in relation to happiness as well as fear, trauma and pain. Our brains remember fear and terror easily. They're hard to shake. 

Saying that, this conclusion doesn't give me an excuse for allowing my fear of other humans to make my life worse or to destroy the people around me. (especially the people I love and the people I'm charged to care for on this planet) It's all on me and it's my responsibility to modify my own programming, in order that the people around me feel safer each and every day.

Our programming (good or bad) effects the people around us, first and foremost. This is why it's extremely important to have a framework of behavioral introspection, in the hope that improving ourselves can lead to a better existence for everyone on "the dream team". We call everyone who lives or works with us "the dream team", inside the coaching program. Due to this framework of behavioral introspection, my happiness quotient in life has increased 10-fold or more, over the last decade. I think everyone is capable of these happiness increases, with some of the simple tools I work with in the program. 

I'm still awkward with hugs, with meeting people and trying to relax around people that I've just met for the first time......but I'm light-years ahead of where I used to be. Anyone who has dated me (and the one person who was married to me) can testify that although I've made major progress.......the trauma, fear and pain can still be there, influencing my behavior from the shadows.

It's about progress, not perfection. That's important to repeat for anyone walking the road to betterment. I'm happy to report that today, I have a very emotionally calm partner who knows how to walk hand in hand with me, with this mission in mind. Her name is Kristine. We work on my programming together and of course we work on her programming together as well. Dealing with my programming takes center stage some days. On those days Kristine gives extra energy to me. On other days it's the other way around. We become better together, as a team and understand the process. That doesn't mean she doesn't roll her eyes at me several times per day and vice versa. 

Oddly enough not many people have an introspection-based framework, by which they can judge their own behaviors by. This often means life gets harder and harder, instead of easier and easier. Life is supposed to get easier as we age, because life is like a game. Our time playing the game is supposed to give us an advantage as we get older. If a person is experiencing a hard life financially, relationship wise, physically etc (as they age) it's most likely because they're not fully understanding the behavior cycles that they're engaged in.

The key to increasing life happiness, success and prosperity is identifying and removing the illogical, irrational and self-destructive behaviors from our neurology. It's actually easier than it sounds if you happen to have that framework by which you can judge what behaviors/beliefs need to stay and what behaviors/beliefs need to go. Most of my behaviors and beliefs had to go, in order for me to be happy and healthy. I made a choice and that choice changed my life for the better. If I can do it, you can too. It's easier and faster of course if you have a guide, mentor and coach.

I teach all this, inside a program that starts Oct 27th. You'll learn this behavioral introspection-based framework, so your life gets better. I'll teach how you can help others heal in the same way, while you charge $100 per hour for that service. I can guarantee that you'll make your investment back financially, and I wrote about that very important aspect of any purchase.....right here. The vast majority of people reading this article can afford our new payment plan. We really want this information getting out there, so we make it pretty easy to come work with us. We work as a team of 100 new students. (plus many other former coaches and students come in to learn again as well) We meet once per week for 1-2 hours. You can attend from anywhere in the world online. If you miss a class, it's always there to watch in your student library. We have a private community with over 600 coaches and students to help you. This is our 9th semester of our Overcoming Self Sabotage Coaching School. There are 35 spots remaining and this amazing program starts Oct 27th. If you have any questions, please email me personally at [email protected]. Just investigate. You'll be happy you did. Click right here. I'll see you on opening day.