Hootie & The Blowfish - Hold My Hand - I Want to Love You the Best That I Can...Goes Really Wrong

Hootie & The Blowfish were a very popular 90's band who had a really big song called "Hold My Hand". Inside the lyrics was another famous and well-known line in the song......."I want to love you the best that I can". 

We all want to love our partners the best that we can, but there's one problem. You can't draw water from an empty well and you can't pour from an empty cup. What if your vision and model of what love is doesn't match what love is for your romantic partner, spouse, wife, husband etc.

Here's a good example. There was a man I worked with one time, inside my self-sabotage coaching program. He grew up in a household where love and high emotion revolved around sedating with narcotics and alcohol. That's when love really flowed and showed up in the home. The family member who brought home the drugs or the alcohol, was the king of the castle and received endless high fives and hugs from everyone else in the home.

As family group dynamics and safety psychology operate in the nervous system, this man was eventually imprinted with a belief that this was love. Love was everything associated with this custom and ritual of destroying oneself with narcotic poisons. Anything revolving around getting high or wasted was love. That's where the greatest security/safety/group acceptance rewards could be found. This man eventually grew up, moved out and carried his dysfunctional love model with him everywhere he went. For some reason, he kept stepping into one bucket of shit in life and quickly jumping out into two more...in regards to his romantic endeavors. 

This guy went on to start dating a beautiful lady. He loved her and he started to apply his love model and love language to her a little more every day. One day, he makes some extra money, only to come over to her house and throw a big bag of cocaine on the table. He's trying to "love her, the best that he can" of course.......but it doesn't go exactly as he was hoping for. She didn't have the same love language. She wanted to be loved in a healthy way, and he was programmed to destroy health as his default setting love ritual. Things quickly went south after that, even though he was trying to "love her, the best that he can". Divorce is skyrocketing today and partnered living is plummeting because lots of these "inverted love models" (which make long term romances almost impossible) are actually socially engineered.  

I'm holding an event in early August on Relationship Self Sabotage. Divorce is really expensive of course. Break ups are hard on the nervous system. Maybe you just need some extra information to make things work for you and your partner. I invite both of you to attend. Click here for the full details related to this small fee event. If you have any questions, please email me personally at [email protected]