Why Couldn't He Sense Danger Properly?

This is very common but not so commonly understood. People who are exposed to excessive and unnatural states of fear, panic, terror and trauma during childhood.....can't process danger properly and therefore can get into many more dangerous situations in adulthood, compared to people raised in loving and peaceful environments.

It's easy to look out into the world and ask yourself, "why do some people seem to coast through life in a mildly successful way compared to others, who always end up stepping into one bucket of shit in life, only to jump out into two more right away?" How we were raised has lots to do with the amount of chaos that finds us in adulthood.

For example, I know this one guy, who can't tell how much danger he's in, on any given day. (and he's in tons of danger daily) I know this first hand as well, as I was like that for most of my life. I have walked this exact same path. Once you know how this cycle works, your life gets better at lightspeed. This is very important information.

If you're exposed to excessive fear, pain, terror and trauma as a child.......that fear is going to do what it always does, inside your nervous system. What it does is SET OFF DANGER SIGNALS in your limbic and reptilian brain centers. That's natural, so there's nothing wrong or odd about that. What's sort of unnatural, is living inside an environment that's perpetually stressful or terror based. That's a big problem. This "fight, flight, fawn or freeze" reaction to fear is supposed to return to baseline levels....in order to turn back on days later if danger comes around once again. In short, our danger/alert system is only supposed to turn on once in a while. It's not supposed to be running all the time and here's why:

If our fear-based alert system never returns back to baseline normal, peaceful and loving levels....we lose our reference points for knowing "what's safe" and "what's dangerous". You can only know what's dangerous, if you can compare it to what's safe and secure. You need both points of reference to make this system work. You need "safe" and "unsafe".

If you're environment is never safe or secure, being "unsafe" becomes your new baseline.....where being in danger is all you know. This way, you can never feel or sense danger properly when its near, because danger simply feels normal. In cases like this (due to screwed up childhoods), the "safe" reference point goes missing. This happens to plenty of children, as their environments are unnaturally high in fear, terror, panic and trauma these days. My childhood was like this as well. This guy I know, he's living life like this too. I know so many people in this category. Lots of self-sabotage has to do with people being unable to register "real danger" because their "peaceful and loving reference point" is missing.

This guy has had a long line of girlfriend's who aren't good for him to say the least. His girlfriend choices are nightmares, and this isn't an exaggeration whatsoever. His friends try to warn him daily about how dangerous his romantic choices are. This guy is absolutely miserable in these relationships, never happy and always in high states of panic, fear and terror.

Every time we meet this guy, he drowns us in stories of his mistreatment, his misery and his perpetual sadness........regarding the girlfriend of the day, who are all complete "shit shows". But again, he can't feel how much danger he's in, because he's been in danger so long.....he forgets what love, safety, security and peace feel like. His childhood of course was high stress and high panic......in perpetuity. He thinks everything is fine, just like all other people who don't understand how really hard childhoods rewire our brains and nervous systems for big trouble in adulthood.

I've been there and done that more times than I can count as well. My advice is simple. If you've had long strings of bad luck in life, in any category, you may not be understanding that your childhood may have lots to do with that. Basically, the easiest way to unpack this (to begin with) is to look at your current relationship or other life situations (job, finances, your daily habits etc).....and ask yourself honestly.........."how much danger am I in right now, which I may not be measuring properly or recognizing?" Start there. That's where it all begins.

I'll be talking more about this for about 6 weeks, so enter your email below to stay up to date.