Self sabotage is about being unable to live the life we want, because we’re too busy living the life we don’t want. Self sabotage is about constantly re-creating cyclical patterns of “attempt” and “failure” in our own lives, so we can find comfort in the “feelings” we’re familiar with. Self sabotage is about our internally set “deserve level“. Although we dream of getting more out life, our subconscious makes sure to plan our lives in ways where we always find our way back to our pre-set deserve level. That deserve level is our home base, our most familiar spot in the world and a standard of living we’ve become accustomed to. This deserve level is set in our childhood. Because of North America’s inept child raising rituals, most adults today have extremely low self worth and “deserve” levels.
Although one part of our psyche wants to fly with the eagles, part of us feels more comfortable rubbing shoulders with the turkeys, because familiarity is safety and security inside the frail human psyche. New is scary, familiar is safe. Regardless of activity, the self saboteur always finds a way to STAY THE SAME. In the New Year, many people will join fitness clubs and many joining will be continuing the fine tradition of staying stuck in their stuckness. Below is a short list of how the saboteur joins a fitness club but also guarantees they never change, so they can get back to their home base where they feel most comfortable. Learn from this list and avoid these classic self sabotage rituals when joining a fitness club.
1. The self saboteur often joins with a friend who has never been successful with their health, knowing that the chances of two self saboteurs getting healthy together is much less than if just one joins. Joining with your most out of shape friend, increases the chances of failure and that’s what the self saboteur wants of course. First try, then fail (because the saboteur sets it up like that) and then start the self loathing. That’s how your saboteur orchestrates your worst life, from the shadows.
2. The self saboteur shops fitness clubs based on price, which means you get the worst fitness club……….which increases the chances of failure and getting back to the fine art of staying the same. The subconscious sees the conscious mind wanting to change yet the subconscious mind sabotages the effort, so change never happens. If you’re an expert exerciser, you may be able to get an OK workout in at a Planet Fitness (in the US) or a Fit4Less, BuzzFit, EconoFit in Canada……but for beginners these fitness big box stores are where fitness dreams go to die. The self saboteur loves the cheap clubs that offer no advanced guidance or heath knowledge, because that means failure is just around the corner, which is where the self saboteur feels most at home. Trying and failing is a victory and the end goal for our inner saboteur. Big box fitness clubs attract the self saboteur like no other.
3. The self saboteur only uses the phone and the internet to shop for fitness club options, which means they don’t pick the staff or the club that makes them feel most comfortable. If you shop by phone, all you get again are prices and not the “feel” or atmosphere of the club………which again means the failure bus will arrive just in time to save the day, the exact way our inner saboteur planned it all out in the first place.
4. The most successful way to get in shape is getting a knowledgeable one on one personal trainer for the first couple of months, so that results are observed, motivation is gained and familiarity with the club creates a bond with the rituals of healthy living. One on one personal training with an advanced personal health coach guarantees overnight success and that’s why the self saboteur avoids investing in a personal trainer like the plague. Success means change and change is an enemy to the saboteur. A trainer means guaranteed success so the self saboteur makes sure to walk the other way and say “I can do this on my own”………..but if you could do it on your own, you would already be in shape. The self saboteur hates logic. long term planning and deep thought.
In short, when shopping for a fitness club to attend this year, do these things…….1) visit the clubs and check cleanliness, atmosphere and the type of clientele you’ll be sharing the club with 2) price and health success are at opposite ends of the spectrum. There are fitness clubs in your area that care about your results. Find those clubs and listen to why they’re different. If you’re a beginner or have weight loss goals above 15lbs avoid the discount big box fitness chains, where fitness dreams go to die and where they serve you tootsie rolls, bagels and pizza to keep you out of shape, hoping you’ll stop coming. Don’t be afraid of change. Be afraid of staying the same in 2018. One life. One time at bat. Swing for the fences. All the best in the New Year.