Many people lose weight and gain it back. Some call it yo-yo dieting and some call it self sabotage, but what really drives it? Self sabotage, the pursuit of wanting to be better but continually making sure we never get there (because we literally trip ourselves up), is illogical and irrational of course and many people want to stop the self sabotage cycle yet have no idea what’s going on. The human mind, when studied, is for the lack of a better phrase “completely irrational” in most cases. The human mind, when run by our emotional wants and desires, can lead us into some very uncomfortable and life threatening situations. Just look at a Kamikaze pilot from WWII Japan, a fighter pilot who volunteered to drive their plane into an enemy target, guaranteeing their certain death. It that logical? Of course not. The human brain can be hacked and heavily manipulated by emotion, to do some very stupid things. Self sabotage falls in that category. So if the human mind can be manipulated to kill itself when it’s designed to live, by the use of emotion, it certainly can be tricked into keeping itself fat when it”s designed to be healthy. Below are some emotional and illogical triggers that keep people fat, when there’s also a part of them who wants to be thin.
1. When raised by unhealthy parents, children figure out that the large adults raising them (called parents) are in control and have a considerable power and size advantage over the smaller humans called kids. The child mind calculates that the easiest way to bond with the larger humans (and to gain safety) is to mimic their behavior and copy their every move. If the parent smokes, eats junk food, drinks alcohol etc…….. the quickest way to bond with that parent is to do the same. If a now adult, who was once a child raised by unhealthy parents, becomes healthy……..their old emotions rise up warning against the healthy endeavor because it will break the bond between parent and child. This applies even if the parents are deceased. This is why unhealthy parents are literally a curse to children. Strong statement but completely true.
2. Children exposed to religious indoctrination early in life often believe they need to suffer in order to get into an imaginary heaven. If the description of heaven as “imaginary” got your back up, you really need to pay attention to this one. The earlier the religious exposure, the more firm this illogical and emotional reaction against trying to live a more comfortable existence as a healthy, vibrant human being. With health comes less suffering and with less suffering, there’s no guaranteed VIP ticket to heaven. Not logical, emotional. If there is a God, does he want you fat, diseased, depressed and teaching your kids to be the exact same? Use logic to find your way out……….
3. Our entire society honors the sick and literally degrades the healthy. Healthy men are jerks, healthy women bitches. The sick is our society’s primary focus of adoration and celebration. The sick people are continually on the front page of the paper, never ending charities in honor of the sick, large emotional investments into the sick by various government agencies, care givers and family. The only way for a kid to meet a sports celebrity today is to be sick. Ordinary sick gets you 3rd row from the ice. Really sick gets you front row center, in the dressing room.. Lots of money for the sick, nothing for the healthy. The appointments never end for the sick, out of town specialists, a full agenda revolving around your disease and sickness plus plenty to talk about down at the coffee shop regarding the newest drugs, the newest symptoms and the next up coming surgery etc etc. When people get healthy, all that attention and energy stops, so sometimes it becomes a decision of where the person is going to receive the most emotional stroking. Again not logical but emotional. The more lonely and empty the person, the stronger this attraction.
4. Although being sick, overweight, depressed and dis-empowered isn’t optimal, it sometimes is all a person knows and all they’re used to. If being sick is familiar, being healthy can be terrifying, simply because it’s new ground and unfamiliar. Sometimes it’s just easier to stay unhealthy and overweight than it is to change, so as the person starts to lose, the emotions get involved and the self saboteur makes their appearance. Emotional, not logical. The person wants to lose 50lbs, loses 20lbs, gets scared, doesn’t recognize themselves or their life anymore, stops being healthy, starts eating junk again (just like their parents taught them) and gains back 25lbs…..in order to cozy back into the only life they’ve ever known and the only house they’re comfortable living in.
5. When a person is in fear and pain, sedative foods can kill the pain. Alcohol, caffeine (coffee, chocolate, pop), nicotine, weed, sugar, wheat, milk products, medical pain killers etc etc all sedate and tranquilize pain. Oddly enough those items all cause weight gain, disease and depression. To lose weight, we need to start avoiding those items (and we do to start our weight loss journey) but then the pain comes back and that pain can drive us back to the sedative foods we need to hide from our past, present and future pain. Again, this cycle is highly illogical, caused by emotions only. In fact most of the problems adults hide from are really small and can be solved by a unsedated and focused adult in only weeks. The sedative addictions actually cement us in our problems and trap us in childlike ways of coping.
6. 1 in 3 females are sexually assaulted in their childhood and with that, the fear of a secondary attack is often avoided with overeating coping mechanisms. The entire drive is to dull sexual and unwanted attention, so a larger body (inside a shallow looks based society) acts as an effective buffer to unwanted and fear based attention. Living a life of less is extremely illogical, as a reaction to a past abuser spinning their evil. The best revenge and logical solution, is to live the best life possible, so we never take the baton from our abuser and perpetually abuse ourselves to cope with our past abuse. Overcome your pain by morphing into the shining star you were always meant to be. Bring your pain with you, but don’t let it dictate your future.
7. Inside the North American life of sameness and emptiness, very few people have any control of their day. Everything in a day is dictated to them and they have no control in what they think, do or say. This can lead to a massive need to control anything, in order to build an illusion of control back into someone’s life. It’s easy to control the pop, chips, booze, smokes, ice cream, take out, candy, chocolate etc. When the body is faced with an illusion of control or a reality of no control, it always takes the illusion. That of course is illogical, based on emotions again. It would be more intelligent to be healthy and work on a real life where real control could be established and developed.
You may be wondering how to overcome self sabotage. Well, the first step is to always recognize it and then to think deeply about why you’re doing it to yourself, using the criteria above and some more criteria taught in the video below. After you learn to see it and understand why you’re doing it, you actively make a change in the other direction. It’s that simple. You change your deserve level, set it higher, understand that it’s OK to be more and walk into your best life.