Lady pulls me aside and explains to me that she’s going to move forward with a very common elective surgery next month and asks for my opinion. I ask her why she’s doing it and she throws out the, “I’m doing it for me” answer, which means, “don’t dig any deeper because there’s a wound just under the surface”. Fair enough, so I change my approach.
So I ask her, “when you say you’re doing it for you, is it because you love yourself or hate yourself?”. She said, “how would I know that?”. I said, “That test is very easy. Ask yourself this. If you witnessed me doing what you’re talking about to a 4 year old in an alley, as you walked by, would you assume I loved that child?”. This is called the “4 Year Old Test.” I explained to her that this sort of test applies to everything from smoking cigarettes to injecting steroids and everything in-between. If you were walking by an alley and caught a glimpse of me giving a 4 year old a smoke or injecting steroids into that 4 year old or holding down a 4 year old and giving them a plastic surgery………would you assume I loved that child? And she said, “No, of course I wouldn’t assume you loved that child” and I said, “so what changes when you do it to yourself?” and she said, “shit, now I get it” and I said, “good, because the creator and all of humanity, who has passed before you, told me to tell you that. I’m only a messenger.”
Her eyes opened really wide and 2 weeks later she’s now cancelled the surgery and decided to work on the inside, instead of the outside. A wise move because running outwards to look for a particular type of “peace”, which can only be found on the inside, means the journey never ends. When we look inside and tend to our internal garden, the peace we seek will be found. We are what we seek. When we feel empty and in need of something more, we’re feeling what it’s like to be disconnected from ourselves. No “purchase” can fill that hole. Looking outward to fill ourselves up never works. It’s easier but it doesn’t work. By trying to find outside, what can only be found inside…..means we continue running east looking for a sunset. Decoration of the inside (a world that we only see and feel) is always best when trying to cultivate more peace and meaning in our lives. Love yourself back to where you need to be…..