Self sabotage is about an illogical long term adaptation to trauma, pain and fear……usually experienced in our childhood. Although illogical long term, most adaptions are very logical short term……..but as the saying goes in self sabotage “what got you here, can’t get you there.” The other saying in self sabotage coaching is “what you used to help you, now starts to hurt you.”
For example, when I was young, I was sent to a boys school where the Christian brother’s were physically and sexually abusive to the children. As the children were abused, those terrorized children also became violent with each other, mimicking the behavior of their caretakers. Humans who are abused, often pick on the weakest of the herd, and I was one of the weakest. Another saying is “hurt people, hurt people.” To adapt early to the fear, I became the “funny guy” because the funny people were always beat up last. Today when I’m in a crowd and I hear the loudest and funniest guy in the room……..I always know he’s carrying the most pain. I also developed a people pleasing attitude, always trying to be everyone’s friend. This lead to approval addictions involving the people around me, which is how sometimes weaker people adapt to fearful environments. Trying to make friends with the abusers. Then as I got older, I started lifting weights, became violent (toward myself and others) and started taking steroids. After becoming a super violent, insanely strong, mentally unstable walking piece of self destruction………I started to understand that by being placed in fear as a child, I ended up destroying myself, others, my future, my community and pretty much everything else I ran across during my savage and self abusive rampage. And the story is much worse than that but let’s leave it there for now. I’ll tell the rest of it at the weekend workshop.
How did I recover and what are the best solutions when dealing with self abusive, self destructive and self loathing behavior? I will go over all these issues during my “How To Overcome Self Sabotage and Live A Better Life” Conference, which I’m giving Nov 24th and 25th in Cornwall Ontario. I’m also recording the event for people who can’t be there in person. Everyone who was on my e-mail list should have got an e-mail tonight. For new people wanting to get a copy of the information package, regarding the live workshop or the recording, PM me your e-mail. See you there everyone. It’s going to be spectacle of mind blowing and utterly shocking information, which is purposely hidden form the public.